Wednesday, May 29, 2013

an exercise in being

Here's a great new exercise for all you fitness buffs: hold your breath and clench your jaw, pressing all your teeth on the top and bottom rows against each other, curl into the smallest version of yourself, and for 2 sets of 14 minutes, try to cry without making a sound. Incorporate your breathe into it. Make sure there's nothing distracting you from your inhales and exhales, these are important man! Inhale, contract your facial muscles into an easy path for the brine from your eyes, exhale, contract further. Don't un-tense, don't release, don't relax. Don't you ever even think to dare to, how dare you. Okay. Shudder to stretch. Repeat until you're dead.

I have this problem where I stop being happy. Or rather I'm never happy and once in a while I actually remember who I am. I have this problem and it's with myself and it's about how I still am, how I am still being (most definitely a problem, though I'm looking into remedies don't worry).

I wish I could be a happy person and I could have dream again and I wish everything I wrote didn't stink with the rot of my skull. Nasty nasty thoughts, how awful. How bad. How unhappy.

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