He kissed her he kissed her he kissed her while I was curling up in my hospital bed then my psych ward bed dreaming about him and thinking of his face her face was touching his face and I want to scream if screams could be pronounced with sadness.
Sometimes I want to go back to rehab. There is no place for me in the lives of everyone who is now forced to take care of me. I am a burden and a nuisance and I am in the way. It was easier in rehab. All I had to do was feel and find out why I felt those things. Here I should be better and I can't mope around all day even when my arms and legs feel like lead I try to be productive and look for a job so my dad doesn't worry but sometimes all I want to do is sit and cry and I don't think that's such a bad thing - being alive means feeling feelings right?
I'm confused and sad and so so very homesick all the time and I haven't lost any weight so why even bother?